Brain Farts 2

Once again, I bring to you a few Brain Farts. Not quite the complete shit you were hoping for, but enjoyable nonetheless.

-What sick fuck orders a Classic Triple from Wendy's? I had a Classic Double yesterday and have shat 4 times today. I can't imagine the horror associated with a 50% increase in beef.

-Today, my brother and I were discussing an au pair that works at a pool that we were doing some work at. Of course, she is hot or I wouldn't be mentioning it, but we couldn't come up with any witty off-the-cuff comments. Here's the one's we came up with:
"I'd like to give her a green card." (huh?)
"I think we could have a foreign exchange." (better, but kinda lame)
"Au pair, more like Aww Yeah-er" (now we're stretching)
"Man, I'd like to fuck her in the ass." (that was my brother's submission and I laughed for five minutes straight)

-I was watching the news last night and they were doing a report on abuse of fireworks down in DC. Apparently, people are lighting fire works at all hours of the night and some are throwing fireworks at people or cars in the street. Then they interviewed this lady, and this was her commentary:
"Yeah, I was walking along the street with my baby and there was these kids and they were throwing fireworks at cars as they drove by. I didn't think that that was legal..."

YOU THINK!!??? In that scene, I don't know who's more stupid.