Friday, November 24, 2006

Black Friday

Well, I really can't write too much right now because I'm about to head out to Tyson's Corner to see what this whole Black Friday thing is about. I'm sure I'll have some great stories and perhaps some scary ones since Black Friday sounds creepy. Maybe it'll be as creepy as that time when my cat watched this video and then the phone rang and all we heard was meowing...and then I took a picture of her and this is how it turned out.

Even the dog was scared.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Go Socks

Is there anything more satisfying than finishing up with the folding of your laundry and finding a match for every single sock? I mean, I swear I'd have to compare it to the feeling of hitting a homerun, with the walk from my bed to the sock drawer being the last few steps before you cross home plate. I'm gonna have to start wearing a helmet when I fold clothes, just so I can pull a Big Papi and throw it in the air right before I drop the socks in the drawer. Man, it's great. Woo.

Yeah, that's it. That's all I've got for today. Were you expecting something better?? Well, perhaps you should go do some laundry yourself and enjoy the experience. Then come back to me and tell me if you'd want to write about anything else. Jerk!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Waiting too Long

A public outcry from my friends after my long hiatus has drawn me back to posting again. Not sure why I haven't posted as I've had some pretty funny stuff happening over the last couple weeks including getting selected for jury duty, seeing Ricky Paugh perform comedy once again, and of course, my continued efforts to locate a J-Woman through any means possible.

Sorry for keeping you guys waiting for so long, but I imagine most of you in DC, and those that know me, are used to waiting longer than usual for something new. Perhaps it's something in the water here that keeps the population content with living with the status quo. Days pass, problems develop that don't get resolved, things are left unsaid or questions are avoided, relationships get strained, and yet nothing is done until far beyond the point that it should have been.

Well, this year, things have started to change. Back in 2005, the status quo was in full force. I was one of several of my friends in a long term relationship, longer than typically acceptable by female standards. In addition, republicans ruled congress and George Bush was in the early stages of his second Presidency despite being considered a complete moron and not doing much to endear himself to the overwhelming majority during his first term. And one Mark Brunell was showing week-in and week-out that his arm strength and control of the Redskins' offense left much to be desired.

But there we all sat, watching the days pass, turning our collective heads...Me, My Friends, America, and Joe Gibbs. And then it happened. The event that will long go down as a turning point in the world. An event that sparked the nation to change. Yes, my buddy Zack, after over 7 years of dating, finally proposed to his girlfriend.

The status quo had been broken. Things could be changed?? We can do something different?? And like a bully knocking over that first domino that the Asian kids had been setting up all recess, the chain reaction had begun. Within months, I had decided to separate from my girlfriend, my buddies Langley and Catheter Man had put an expensive "property of" sticker on their respective girlfriend's fingers, Ike's making a baby, the Democrats have retaken the house, and Mark still the god damned quarterback of the Redskins!!!!

Damn it Joe Gibbs, get with the stinking program. This guy can't complete a pass beyond ten yards on a consistent basis. Yesterday's game was a downright disaster...constantly throwing to the flats and 4-yard slants when we needed 8-12 yards??!! We have three relatively fast and shifty receivers, all of which seem to make pretty nifty catches when needed and you're telling me we can't hit them 15-25 yards down the field??!!! We can't even try to when we're already down by 20???!!! I know you guys have history, and that a breakup is always hard, and it might be a bit awkward since you work in the same place, but this is 2006 damn it. Zack is no longer still dating.

Jason Campbell may not be the guy you wanna take home to meet your parents yet, but take him out for some drinks, maybe a nice dinner, play some pool (I hear that's big now), and see where it takes you. It's obvious you're not going to the Super Bowl with what you currently have, and isn't the reason you play the game so that you can win a Super Bowl??

Could I have found a more round about way to bitch about the Redskins???