Thursday, February 07, 2008

Haunted House

As I write this blog, I am slightly spooked out and slightly intrigued, but what I am not slightly is not slightly sure that I don't have a ghost living in my house. You see for Christmas, I received an alarm clock/temperature reading egg type thing that my grandmother got from Sharper Image or one of those types of places. This device allows you to fluctuate from the time, to the temperature to the date and to an alarm, all by lightly touching the top of its egg shaped surface.

When I first got this device, I placed it in my living room, as I had no clock there and that was really the only place I could have used it. So it has sat there for over a month, doing basically nothing...that is until two days ago. I'm not sure why, but this thing changes functions whenever I walk by now. I don't even get within 20 feet of it, and I hear the beep and see the light shine on. I know it doesn't do it at other times, as I could hear the beep up here in my study if it was doing it. Is it my feet shaking the ground as I walk by...tried walking all around it and even stomping and it doesn't get it to go on...not even randomly.

What does get it to go on...sitting down on the couch and asking it questions. No, I'm not shitting you, though I have almost shit my pants several times. From it's ability to answer "yes-no" questions by answering "yes" by making the egg clock change functions, it is a ghost, it is friendly, and though it does not know me, it knows my ex-girlfriend Amy. She was big into this kind of shit, so when it didn't answer "yes" to knowing me, I figured why not check. I have had an odd feeling in the house ever since her grandmother passed away while we were still dating, and though it has not answered "yes" to the question of whether it is her, I have my reservations as to whether it is lying to me. Why??

Because tonight, I had a girl come over and spend the majority of the evening here at the house with me and I have never heard the thing beep so if it were unhappy with the woman's presence. Maybe I should have asked the ghost if it knew Jaclyn as well, as it never chimed off for the few days Jaclyn was here and we were still "dating" before the breakup. In either case, I hope to get to the bottom of this, even if it means simply removing the batteries from the clock and putting my skeptic voice up front. In the meantime though, I really hope that this ghost doesn't start fucking with my game, as I could really use some new female companionship and this new girl is quite great.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Why am I not in the entertainment industry?

OK, first I came up with the idea of having Joey from Friends have a spinoff show where he went to California (my version would have been better) and then I said that Transformers and GI Joe needed to have full length movies made for the people of my generation to attend (GI Joe is coming in '09). And then, back in 2005, I proclaimed that this generation's music was characterized by "remixes" and that to culminate this trend, a Michael Jackson remix album needed to be made. And sure enough, here we are, with the Thriller 25 album a week away from being released and, what do you know, 5 remixed versions of the songs. Having heard them already, again, I think my version would have been better.

So if you want to know what's gonna be cool in the next couple years, just keep reading my blog apparently. Hell, I predicted the strong return of the mohawk.