Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Top 10: Worst Halloween Costumes

As most of you are aware, I am a huge fan of Halloween. There are very few nights when you can dress up like a moron, go out to the bars, and pretty much start up a conversation with anyone just because. It's like on Halloween, everyone is having a big party, and we're all invited.

So, with that in mind, the next question comes...What am I going to be this year? I've had my share of classic costumes over the years, and I've seen a few great ones out at the bars. But as I try to come up with good ideas, all that pops into my head are arguably the worst costume ideas. So that got me to thinking...what would be the Worst Costume Ideas? Which leads me to this list of: (may at your own discretion)

Top 10 Worst Costume Ideas:
10) Ricky Bobby from Talladega Nights after the Crash: A simple costume which includes only tidy whities and a NASCAR helmet. It's not that bad of a costume, thus it being #10, but wearing tidy whities all night...rough. I would laugh if I saw this.
9) Derek Jeter: This is less the costume as it is where you wear it. I would love to see someone sporting this out to the bars in Boston. He's probably not making it home.
8) A pedophile/rapist/serial killer/person from Montana: Real mustache, tight jeans, jeans jacket, jeans shirt, and some creepy glasses. Add some vasoline on your face to give that greasy look and it's a winner.
7) Your mom: What if your girlfriend/wife thought it would be funny and decided to go dressed as your mom? That's not cool at all.
6) Priest with a cabbage patch kid glued to his crotch: Nothing says inappropriate like making fun of religious figures. Make sure the head is firmly attached at the crotch to give the impression of a young boy giving a BJ. As a Jew, I find this humorous...can't say others would.
5) A piece of shit: Not those corny (completely not intentional) costumes of poo with horns being "Bull Shit" and angel wings being "Holy Shit", I'm talking, what if someone wore all brown and then rubbed real shit all over themselves to make it more realistic. I would probably laugh at the craziness of it all, then vomit.
4) Muslim Terrorist: Strap on the beard, the turbin, and some fake dynamite. See how far you get.
3) KKK Member: I'd like to see if the Klansman or the Muslim gets beaten down first. My money is on Jeter in Beantown.
2) Unwanted Pregnancy under President McCain: This one's for the ladies. Pour fake blood all over your legs, wear a dress that you stuff a basketball under and then attach a clothing hanger to the inside of your thigh so it protrudes out the bottom. If you can figure out what I'm describing, you're probably appalled right now. I could actually see some douche wearing this out here in DC, however.
1) Cancer Patient: Seriously. If you saw someone with a bald head wearing a hospital gown and holding an IV bag, all you could do is shake your head in disgust. This one I hope I never see.

Yep, pretty sure I'll get a few hate comments on this one...and I didn't even put "Retard" as one of the costume ideas.

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