I'm not dead. Though I might as well have been. You see I haven't written a post in almost a week because my cable and my internet has been out. Yes, I was without both for over four days. No warning. No time to get milk, eggs, and toilet paper. (Do weather men expect us to eat only omelettes and shit alot during snow storms?) I was stuck with this most unnatural disaster when I least expected it.
Remember that post when I mentioned the tree being removed from my neighbor's yard? Well, the next day, they took away the ground too. They dug a hole adjacent to their house that was the entire length of their house by about 6 feet wide and about 10 feet deep...exposing the entire foundation. Then they resealed the foundation or some shit, and ultimately backfilled the hole. And that is when they broke my cable.
Have you ever lived without TV? It's doable, so long as you can fill your time with internet surfing and perhaps even downloading a TV show or two. Have you ever lived without the internet? It's tough, wondering if someone is trying to email you because no one seems to want to actually talk in person any more. Do I have a new facebook friend? What's that wacky J-Man been up to?
Now, imagine being without both of them? I know, it's horrible to even think of, but I feel everyone needs to be prepared for such a disaster. I was not prepared. Emails went unanswered. College football scores went unknown. Porn went unwatched.
I literally had the feeling that I had no electricity, despite the lights being on. Like I was in some foreign prison camp. I might as well have lit a candle to walk around my house, eat food out of a can, and shit in my backyard. Seriously though, it is amazing how dependent on my computer and TV I have become. Earlier in the day, I was mocking my friend Edwin about living without his cell. phone only to arrive home and find my connection luxuries missing as well. I truly felt like I was missing something. Like the world was going on while I sat in a box.
You would think that without the distraction of the TV and internet, I would have taken the opportunity to be productive. Like the Simpsons episode where all the kids go outside and start playing. I, however, am far too entrenched in my laziness. I did what any normal man without internet and cable would do. Do Laundry? Nope. Read a book? Nope. Take my dog for more walks? Nope.
I played Madden. It was the only way to stave off insanity. I need the glow of the screen...I crave it.