Friday, April 01, 2005

Top Ten Lists, Volume 1

Well, pool season is about to begin again and with it comes lots of lost time driving between jobs. Though I don't get out on the road that often, those occassions when I am called to duty, I have to find a way to kill this dead period. Normally, I'll listen to Sportstalk 980 or maybe my helper and I will have something topical to discuss...but usually, it's a dead moment...filled with silence. I'm the boss so maybe that makes things awkward. Or maybe I'm just not very personable. Nonetheless, I found the best time killer that keeps everyone entertained...TOP TEN LISTS.

Yep, we'll come up with a topic and then debate who our top 10 would be. Simple game, let me get you started by putting forth some of my favorites. Top ten lists can change daily depending on how I'm feeling, so screw you if you disagree. Your comments and new top ten lists are always welcome. Perhaps I will interject my own opinion on a future post...thus the "volume 1" on this post. Anyway, here goes:

Top 10 Chicks I Want to Bang (your basic starter list)
10) J.Lo - This is more out of sheer reputation associated with seeing her ass. I would definitely have to do her doggie style or she'd be off the list.
9) Britney Spears - Again, this is a reputation thing. She used to be much higher but now she's damaged goods. I'd still like to do her though.
8) Scarlett Johanssen - Something about her. I'm not sure what it is. But ooo wee.
7) Kate Beckinsale - I love the British accent. Totally wanted to bang her after seeing Serendipity
6) Alicia Keys - She just keeps looking hotter and hotter in her videos.
5) Jennifer Garner - Ever seen Alias?
4) Heidi Klum - Don't really need an explanation here.
3) Jennifer Anniston - She's Rachel from Friends. Rachel.
2) Jessica Simpson - I really wasn't a fan of hers at first but she's growing on me. Plus, who doesn't like huge boobs.
1) Angelina Jolie - I just imagine things with her would be downright SILLY!

Top 10 Songs I Could Listen To Again & Again (debated the universal number one with some buddies while up in a bar in Baltimore after an Orioles rainout...too drunk to remember all the one's they said, though)
10) Water Runs Dry - Boyz II Men - This is a personal favorite because it reminds me of my senior year in high school.
9) Away From the Sun - 3 Doors Down - Again, a personal favorite that reminds me of my trip to Las Vegas a couple years ago.
8) Changes - 2 Pac - Just a good upbeat song I never seem to get tired of.
7) Invisible Touch - Genesis - I mean, who can dislike this song?
6) Crossroads - Bone Thugs - Perhaps it's because I keep trying to learn all the lyrics, but this one never seems to get old
5) New York, New York - Frank Sinatra - Frank Sinatra songs in general never seem to get old with me, but this one is an institution. I can still see Paulie O in right.
4) What's Going On - Marvin Gaye - I have this on a mix of mine and I swear I listened to this song 12 times in a row. Man, he was good.
3) Living on a Prayer - Bon Jovi - It's the start of the song that gets me hooked, then I just let it play on. A karaoke favorite too.
2) Sweet Home Alabama - Skynard - Again, the start of the song just pulls me in every time.
1) Mo Money, Mo Problems - Biggie - This was the group's consensus pick following my recommendation. Who doesn't sing along to Biggie's part, honestly. "B-I-G-P-O-P-P-A, no info for the D-E-A. Federal agents...!!"

Top 10 Things That Piss Me Off
10) Spam and popups on my computer, and all these stupid fucking programs I have to download can't seem to stop them from fucking shit up on my computer
9) When I order a Captain and Coke and they give me a coke with a splash of Captain. I was more concerned with the Captain, that's why I said it FIRST.
8) Idiots at a blackjack table - These guys are costing me money because they're too dumb to learn how to play the game.
7) Paying a cover charge to get into a bar...not a club...a bar. No dancing, no band, just a bar. For example, VIDA in DC. At least they don't combine that with item #9, however.
6) Going into a clothing place and the shit is all over the place. Christ, pay somebody to put the clothes back on the shelves and hangers in the proper way. Old Navy falls victim to this, as do all the low-end clothing places like Marshalls and Nordstroms Rack. Shoe places like DSW are just as bad. I've told my girlfriend we need to leave when I see this. Terrible.
5) When people try to drop me off at a restaurant while they go and park the car, so that we secure a spot in line. It makes sense, but still pisses the fuck out of me. I always feel uneasy, it's like I haven't fully committed to eating there, or I have to wait alone, or they seat me and I'm looking for the driver...ugh.
4) Moe & Keith - These are my old colleagues from work that have really been a giant pain in my ass since they left the company and started their own business. I won't go into details, but man, they really piss me off.
3) 50 Cent - I really can't stand him. His raps sound like a retarded kid mumbling incoherent babble. Yes, I understand he's been shot in the face, but there are plenty of other things he could have done then. You don't see someone getting shot several times in the arm and becoming an NFL quarterback, do you? And if someone was stupid enough to pay him for that, he'd probably piss me off too. And I swear I've heard Candy Shop before...the first time he released it, when it was called Magic Stick.
2) Congested parking lots - People must forget they're still in their car when they are off the main roads and in a parking lot. People do the stupidest shit and there are pedestrians everywhere. My philosophy is, get into a parking spot ASAP, because my anger will rise with each passing second I'm still in my car.
1) Small children singing - There used to be an ad on TV during the day where children would sing nursery rhymes. If it was left on for more than a second, I really wanted to kill myself.

Until tomorrow...plenty of free time to write some useless shit when it's raining and Saturday.

By the way, check out my buddy Jay's new blog which dropped today:

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