Monday, April 11, 2005

Too Much to Write It All

Too much has happened recently that I can't dedicate one blog to each or I'd be writing for several days about stuff that occurred too far in the I will quickly touch on some of the finer issues that have passed my way recently.

Miss Kentucky
I'm waiting for the Grovesnor metro on Friday night and this chick walks up by herself and is sort of giving me the "we should talk" vibe. I'm totally gonna botch this, so save yourself the buildup right now. Anyway, she's kinda hot but in that exotic overly done up sort of way. She's wearing a turtleneck sweater and a black trenchcoat-type thing, holding a black briefcase and more makeup than you usually see...not your typical metro rider by any sense. So she draws my attention and is fumbling in her briefcase/bag. She turns to me and asks for a I have a purse full of random shit like this??!! Obviously, I have no pen and her only in is lost, so we stand awkwardly at the metro stop in silence, until she pulls out her cell. phone and makes a call. I've got nothing better to do, so I listen in...and she's like, "Hi Dr. so and so, this is Miss Kentucky Kristen something" and I'm like, she didn't, did she?

So like I said, I botch this, proceed in still not talking to her, get on the metro, sit by myself, get to my buddy Jay's place, tell him about this, and we all figure I heard had to have heard wrong.
Well, turns out the freakin Miss USA pageant is on TV right now, Miss Kentucky made it to the second round or whatnot, and IT'S THE SAME GIRL. I am truly a sackless loser.

Lord of the Dance
On Saturday night, Amy and I went to see Lord of the Dance. Spare me the commentary...I've heard it before. Yes, I know it sucks and I'm gay, blah, blah, blah. But it really did suck...and I'm pissed. I actually thought it would be good, as I enjoyed Stomp, which was like a step dancing show, and figured this was in the same genre. No, not at all. This was the cheesiest, most corny display of theater imaginable. I swear they weren't even making the tap noises, instead they pulled an Ashlee Simpson/Milli Vanilli, including faking a chick dressed in gold sequins, including a skull cap, playing the instrument made popular by 4th graders in the Montgomery County School system for years. GARBAGE. I was sorely let down, and that's all I'm gonna say about that.

This will be short. I actually got off my ass on Sunday and completely redid the shit garden in my front yard. I'm talking, tilled the front section, built a retaining wall, made a planter bed, planted a Maple tree among others, and laid decorative rocks. I'm the shit, have added another new talent to the repertoire, and now my standard redneck suntan has gotten an early start this year. SWEET.

Suspicious Man at the Capital
OK, so I heard on the news about this guy who was looking suspicious at the Capital, causing an evacuation and eventually getting himself tackled and his suitcase detonated by police. The best part is, he was wearing the "suspicious person's" stereotypical outfit. Wearing an all black suit, looking like Neo from the Matrix, standing all alone with two suitcase by the Capital. I mean, if he was trying to blend in, he totally missed it on this one. You can't get more suspicious than that, short of wearing a fake beard and turban. Classic. What a dumb ass. I hope they gave him a full body cavity search just for being a jackass.

And that's my last three days...perhaps I will touch on these some more if I am completely lost for something to write about next time I get the urge.

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