Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Pool Women?

In the pool industry, you really don't see too many females doing the actual service work. Most of the time the Pool Women are either lifeguards or work behind a desk answering the phone or entering stuff in the computer. Don't call me a sexist jackass (well, you can), that's just the way the industry is.

So, you can imagine my shear joy (trust me, there's a lot of sarcasm in that line) when I was in need of some vital information today and ended up speaking to a woman "technician."

Anyway, we've been having some difficulty determining what is wrong with a particular pool's remote system and its interaction with the pool's heater. This particular remote system has long been discontinued, so I really don't see them that often to get any OJT on how to fix them. So when this situation arose, and I failed to figure it out with simple logic and knowledge of the more current remotes, I was forced to make a call to the manufacturer to get answers from an "expert."

What I got was a woman named Jill.

I pretty much knew I was screwed from the get go. I've made plenty of calls to manufacturers over the years looking for technical support, and when you don't get a guy named Bill or Gus or even Steve answering with voice so scratchy you'd swear he's been smoking since 8 years old, you're probably not talking to an expert.

And sure enough, within minutes, Jill has proven that I have just wasted 15 minutes of my life waiting on hold and things are only going to degenerate further with each of my questions. Enjoy:

Me: Hi, we've got a client who has a Jandy Ji4000 remote (the remote her company made) that is failing to control their heater. All of the wiring is correct, but the remote will not shut off the heater when it reaches the correct temperature.

Jill: What type of heater is it?

Me: It's a Raypak RP2100 Digital

Jill: Oh, you've called the wrong company. This is Jandy.

Me: (What the fuck?!) No, the heater is fine. It's the remote that is the problem.

Jill: Oh, sorry. What type of remote is it?

Me: (Are you kidding me?) A Jandy Ji4000

Jill: Oh, that is one of ours.

Me: (Where is Gus??????) Yes, and I can't get it to control the heater.

Jill: Well, that remote isn't made any more.

Me: (I swear I pushed "2" for technical support) I know that, I was hoping that you might have some troubleshooting guides that might help me to determine what is exactly wrong with the remote.

Jill: Oh, I don't have any here. Let me see if someone else does.

Me: (Please god, tell me I will live an extra 15 minutes so that I can get this time back somehow)

----5 minutes later-----

Jill: Sir. OK, I've gotten a booklet. What is wrong with the remote?

Me: (May a car strike you as you drive home this evening) It is not controlling the heater.

Jill: (flipping through the manual outloud) OK, I found something.

Me: (Not wanting to try to have a technical dialogue with Mrs. Einstein about this) Can you FAX it to me?

Jill: Yes.

It is 9:25 PM and I am at home now. I still am waiting for my FAX'ed troubleshooting guide.

1 comment:

DeCoMpOsEd said...

i used to work for a cable company as an online technician and guys from the field would always call. and i always had the same reaction... thank god a woman didnt answer..