Thursday, August 18, 2005


Yesterday, my brother had to go to the dentist for his regular 6-month teeth cleaning. He left in the middle of work to take care of this and when he returned, he brought me news that the dentist was wondering where I went.

You see, 3 years ago I made an appointment with the dentist for my ritual 6-month cleaning. Unfortunately, on the day that I was supposed to go, I got called out to an important job or something and wasn't able to make it. This is incredibly frowned upon by the dentist and I believe it is grounds for a small fee since I didn't call to cancel it.

I called them back a few days later and told them my situation and asked to reschedule. Apparently, being the Nazis they are, they pulled this "oh, I don't know if we can fit you in now. Our schedule is awfully busy...that's why we schedule you 6-months in advance" bullshit. So, they told me they'd put me on the waitlist and would call me when there was an opening.

Here's the thing. I don't want to go to the dentist. I'm not gonna hastle them repeatedly checking in to see if there's an opening for a glorious 1-hour scratch and poke session. (I know, insert your own joke here) So, when they pulled this crap, and then decided not to call, I said, "fuck it. I didn't like you much anyway."

So, here we are 3 years later and they come a calling, wondering where I've gone off to. I feel a bit guilty since this obviously means I haven't had my teeth flossed in 3 years either, so I make the call. Now, all of a sudden, I have hand in this relationship, as they have an opening for the next day (today) at 2 PM. Apparently, dentists are like women. Ignore them enough and they'll come a callin'. My pimp hand is strong.

You'd figure after 3 years of no dentist, there might be some issues that would require additional cost or maybe the occassional cavity or something. So, I roll in there expecting the worst. What I get is the standard cleaning (accompanied by a surfing video...a nice new addition to the dentist room) and the 2 minute meet and greet with the real dentist.

So now, I'm asking myself, "Do I go back in 6-months or do I wait another 3 years?" Perhaps this dentistry thing is just as much of a crock as the emissions test. Soon I'm gonna find out you never need an oil change and going to your doctor for a monthly hernia test is overkill. Well, maybe not that last one, she's kinda hot.

1 comment:

Catheter Man said...

Apparently your dentist doesn't know the "one of your old fillings needs to be replaced" scam yet.