In light of the Wizards 0-2 start to the Heat and the excessive discussion of the possibility of bringing Kwame Brown back off suspension (Thankfully, it looks like they won't), I present to you:
The Top 10 Reasons I Hate the NBA
10. Michael Jordan came out of retirement and thought he could play for the Wizards
9. Michael Jordan retired because he thought he could play for the White Sox
7. Bill Walton is rapidly becoming as annoying as Dick Vitale...and that's saying alot.
6. They changed my favorite team from the Bullets to the Wizards? If you can have a sodomizing rapist, a father paying child support to several different mothers, and a guy who claims to have slept with over 10,000 women play on your court, I think the fans can handle a team named after a weapon.
5. Why should I be expected to pay full price for a ticket when the players only try for 1/4 of the game?
4. 18 year olds are paid millions of dollars to sit on a bench because they're too young and immature to actually play (with some exceptions, of course), and everyone in the league is too gutless to make any changes
3. The playoffs have appeared more fixed than the WWE the last few years and David Stern still claims to be upset when anyone mentions that fact. Does anyone remember the year they tried to get a Knicks-Lakers final and the Blazers and Pacers got a foul called for farting near a player, while Shaq bitch-slapped Scottie Pippen and no one heard a peep?
2. If a player doesn't want to play for a certain team, he can just be a whiny bitch and eventually he'll get traded. I hope one of these days, one of the owners will finally say, "You don't want to play for us. Fine, fuck you. Go sit at home and we'll pay the rest of your salary, and then see what you can get when you're done, after sitting out for several years."
1. The Wizards got the first overall pick in the NBA draft and selected Kwame Brown.