Those that know me, know that I love Chinese food. I could probably eat Chinese food every day and not get tired of it. And I've come close. However, it was on one occassion during my High School Senior Year Beach Week, that my friend's love of Chinese food made my night.
My friends and I had gone to Dewey Beach, DE for Beach Week, which was pretty much the standard location for my high school. We had supplied ourselves with a shack by the beach, which smelled of natural gas and had two rooms that were no bigger than the size of a full bed, and PLENTY of beer. In addition, we brought condoms, because that's what beach week is supposed to be about. They were taped above each of the bedroom doors and referred to as ornaments...to make it seem less sleazy, of course.
Our Beach Week started off exciting, with my friend's car getting towed within an hour of our arrival and my car getting lifted to be towed before we paid off the tow guy to put it down. Fucking Dewey Beach and their parking restrictions.
Drinking ensued, as did toilet overflowing, and plenty of vomiting. My buddy, Zack, ate incense for god's sake! After our first day of drinking, we quickly realized that there was an excellent (it's a sliding scale) diner at the end of the block, called Theo's, which would accommodate our late night cravings more than you can imagine.
We'd stumble in there, grab ourselves a bite to eat and socialize with the other high schoolers and the oh-so-hot waitresses. Now, the waitresses probably weren't that hot in the grand scheme of things but you need to take into consideration the fact that I have a thing for women that serve me food and/or drinks.
Take your average girl walking down the street... I'm gonna walk right by her, maybe a glance if she's got something to look at. But if we both walk into TGI Friday's, and a few minutes later she comes over to take my drink order and ask me if I want some potato skins or cheese sticks, I'm ready to bone her, right there and then. Not sure if this is more the cause or the effect of what's about to transpire...Back to the story.
So we've eaten at Theo's several nights in a row and I've flirted with many waitresses, predominantly this one, however, Allison. I've told her we're staying just at the end of the street and that she should come party with us. She's shrugged off most of my advances, but she can't shrug off the old "keys left on the table" trick. Likely because I was shit-faced, though smooth in the end, I leave my keys at her table and she comes to our door at like 5 in the morning to return them. She sees the beauty of a 14 X 14 hovel that could light up from the gas fumes at any time, and makes a date to return another day when she doesn't have to work. Sure, sure.
But, whatayaknow. She and two of her friends show up for some drinking and listening to Bon Jovi (another funny story). We all end up walking on the beach, getting yelled at by the police for being on the beach after dark, and then return to the house. One of Allison's friends is ready to bail and things are looking a bit grim, as the second girl is looking to depart as well. It is at this point when Allison takes me aside and says that her friend wants to hook up with my buddy, Ben.
Benny and I weren't really that tight through high school so I didn't know if he'd be willing to take this one for the team. Though, free sex with no effort is normally not taking one for the team. And the girl was decently hot, as I recall, though it's a bit hazy. The fact that she was Asian is not hazy however, and as I spoke with Benny, all my buddy Zack could yell was, "Benny, you know you want some Chinese Food"
Well, Ben helped himself to a hearty helping of Sum Cum Nao, and I got my waitress. Needless to say, giving her a tip after I ate my sandwich the next night seemed a bit dirty, but again, nobody said I was classy.