In these tight financial times, everyone appears to be wanting to save money and minimize excessive spending. So, in an attempt to help those of you truly concerned with this, I have made the following Top 10 List. Having already brought up the wastefulness of greeting cards in a past post, I present to you:
Top 10 Things You Can Do Without
10. Soda at restaurants: I went to Wendy's last week and got a chicken sandwich for $.99, a Double Stack burger for $.99, and a Dr. Pepper for $2!! How is it that something that is mostly water is twice as expensive as meat products?
9. Underwear: It's under your clothes, nobody sees it, so who needs it? Let the era of free ballin and commando chicks begin.
8. CDs: There's still a ton of pirate programs out there like Morpheus, so why are you still paying for music? If musicians really want to help the country, they should stop saying this is "illegal" and make their money touring and selling merchandise.
7. Cats: They are creepy and don't bring anything to the table. They shit in a box in your bathroom, eat your food, and only come around when they feel like it. See you later, Garfield...you don't make the cut.
6. Hair Products: It's real simple. If everyone stops using hair gel and mousse and shit like that, then it will be a new style. You're already not wearing underwear, let's go au natural.
5. Nationals Tickets: Oh wait, you're already not buying them.
4. Greeting Cards: I already brought this up in the gift giving post I had a couple days ago. It's like putting money in someone else's trash can. Just write happy birthday on the back side of one of those credit card ads you get in the mail every day and call it done.
3. Art: I've been to some people's houses and seen the shit on their walls. They paid money for that?? Wow.
2. Big Screen LCD TVs: Wait. No. I was just kidding. Sometimes you just gotta make a stand...I'm helping stimulate the economy.
1. Condoms: I mean, seriously...who really needs them? That's why God invented pulling out, right Bristol Palin??
And now back to work, so I can make some money to not spend on these things.