Friday, June 16, 2006

Worst Comic Standing

Alright, you may have already thought this yourself several days ago when Last Comic Standing originally aired, but I'm a Tivo guy and I don't watch shit when it's really on, I watch it when I'm good and ready. That being said, I just watched the latest episode of Last Comic Standing where they selected the last 5 (which turned into 7...sorry to ruin the surprise) remaining comics out of like 15, who are supposed to live in the house.

For those of you who have never watched this show, they select 10 up and coming comics to live in a house (a la Real World) and have them perform different comedy related stuff over a period of weeks, and each week one comic is eliminated until they have one comic left. I've watched the last two seasons of the show and though some of the comics kinda suck, the overall quality of the comics on the show is pretty decent...until now.

For some reason, the producers of this show selected Kathy Griffin and Tim Meadows as two of the judges of these comics. What?! How good of a judge of comedy can a D-List celebrity whose only jokes are telling stories about Celine Dion or a guy who had one decent character in like 10 years of starring on SNL be? Oh, I see. Terrible.

In this week's episode, each comic had like 3 minutes each to belch out some comedy, and some of these people were downright horrible. I think the guy from Talk Soup was up there...and made it into the house!!!! And then the really fat Mexican guy with the high voice, who's like the Pillsbury Doughboy version of Carlos Mencia, and who absolutely irritates the hell out of me...he's in the house!!!?? But it gets worse. Some old broad who only focuses on how shriveled her ovaries are and complains that she's about to die...she got in! Then a poor man's version of Ellen Degenerous whose only funny lines came after her set was over...she's in!! Can it get any worse??!!! Yes. They chose a stereotypical goomba wife (who's knocked up) and bitches about how bad her husband is in bed?? That kind of humor was never funny...not since Andrea Dice Clay on "In Living Color." But, there she was, walking her bloated ass onto the stage and into that house. But then, the most annoying and non-funny of all the comedians gets selected...a lady who's showing off her fat stomach while jumping around the stage, overly acting a story of her going to the gym. These comics absolutely sucked.

There were like 4 other funny comedians who deserved to be picked, including the guy who opened for Darrell Hammond at Caroline's in NYC when I was up there for my buddy's bachelor party (and he killed) and the seque guy, who's pure genius. Why are these guys going home?! Why were they not picked?! Not since the Ricky Paugh incident has the picking of comedy been this horrendous. And then it dawned on me.

This is not a show about finding the best comic. This is a show about comics living in a house together, pretending to be a show about finding the best comic. Just like the "Real World" seems to always have some chick with an eating disorder, a fag, a stupid redneck, and an overly aggressive black man...Last Comic Standing wanted a retard (yes, they have one), a dyke, an angry old bitch, a fat guy, and your stereotypical goomba.

Todd Glass wasn't funny because he was a retard.
Ant wasn't funny because he was gay. (well, he wasn't funny)
Kathleen Madigan wasn't funny because she was old and angry.
Ralphie May wasn't funny because he was fat.
And Tammy Pescatelli wasn't funny because she was Italian.

They were actually funny comedians...let's not try and re-create them NBC!!

So, for those of you who have missed the first few episodes and were hoping to catch up now, you're in for a big let down. If you wanna see good comedy, watch Comedy Central...'cause these guys suck. Where's Jay Mohr? He wouldn't stand for this.

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