It has been raining non-stop here for like 24 hours. I'm not talking about a soft drizzle, this is a constant monsoon-style downpour we have going on out there. Thankfully, I have been indoors most of the day. Not so thankfully, most of my crews haven't been able to accomplish much because half of the pools are trapped under pool covers with over 5" of water on them, while the other half are green or brown from the mud that has poured into them from the adjacent planters.
I have never received so many panicked calls from people worried that their pool is overflowing and their basement is flooding. And it's not looking like it's going to get any better in the near future. The long-term forcast is for rain until Saturday, which is really going to make things shitty around here as people plan for their 4th of July weekend. So, who's to blame for all this crap!!!
I'll tell you who...China.
You see, the Chinese have been messing around with the weather to "fight the drought" in China. At least, that's what they'll tell you. What they won't let tell you is that they have used this technology to cause these storms which have devastated New Orleans and put Boston under water...and apparently we (here in DC) are now the next target.
Luckily, I have long been a supporter of the Chinese in my routine purchasing of Chinese food and I have built up a strong alliance with the Far East, Jade Billows and Asian Cafe staff. Should this be a precursor to a Chinese take over of a flooded United States, I will be pleased to enjoy our new local delicacies and harvest the rice in the flood plains that are my backyard.
Save yourself, order Chinese food delivery. It's way to rainy outside to want to drive anywhere anyway.
Bu yong xie, bitches.