Brain Farts 5

I've got a couple quick stories to share and since no of them is especially in depth, I present to you my 5th installment of Brain Farts...not quite the whole shit, but still pretty amusing.

• The bad luck continued as some guys came by today to clean my gutters, since they saw they were really clogged while they were working next door. After getting up there to clean them out, they noticed that some of the wood that the gutters are attached to had rotted and the nails were popping out. Luckily, they would just need to drive new nails into the unrotted sections of wood. But wait, the caulking was also bad and needed to be redone. Sweet...here's $175. We're now up to $1919 for the bad luck streak. (The other four is from another poker loss yesterday afternoon)

• Yesterday, while walking home from Adam's Morgan after a night of drinking, I came up with a brilliant idea for my buddy Scott's bachelor party in NYC, which is in three weeks. Mind you, I was drunk when I thought of this, so bear with me. He will partake in a "scavenger hunt" that will include things such as carrying open condoms, naked pictures from a porn magazine, and other dumb stuff. This will not actually be scavenged for, this is merely to give some credibility to the real goal...seeing boobs and butts. Now that he has "completed" these portions of the scavenger hunt, all that remains is....having his picture taken next to a pair of random boobs and buttcheeks. Having seen a bachelorette party do the opposite thing, I feel we might have a chance. And the key is, we're not going to set a clear number of boobs and/or buttcheeks that must be photographed, though I'm thinking the total may be somewhere around the 0 range, though we may get a few pictures of my buddy getting slapped, which might be just as good. Uh, no. No, it isn't.

• When I arrived home last night, my girlfriend was still out following the bridal shower for her co-worker, Crystal. So I decided to fry myself up some chicken fingers since I wouldn't be disturbing anybody (hot oil + drunken person = good times). Thankfully, I did not burn the place down...only the roof of my mouth. However, when Amy and her gay co-worker arrived back at our place, I had this classic exchange.

Me: So what did you do tonight babe? (slurring, more than likely)

Amy: We finished dinner and then headed to Crystal's place since some of the people were being lame and didn't want to go out.

Me: Really, why not?

Amy: They were just complaining that they were tired and wanted to just go home.

Me: That shit is gay!

-Awkward silence-

Me: Woops. Uh, sorry Sean.