As I've mentioned in past posts, I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years back in May and then subsequently broke my jaw a few weeks later, taking me out of the dating game...hell, the eating game...for the last 3 months. With my mouth now unwired and my jaw braces a mere two weeks away from removal, I will soon be back to 100%. But then what?
This is a dilemma that likely troubles all single men. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for me, I've never had to deal with being single all that much. I had two girlfriends throughout most of college, then started dating Amy about 6 months after my last college relationship ended. Relationships are nice because I find it much easier to beg for sex than to actually have to go out and find it. (You guys in long-term relationships know what I'm talking about...don't even try and deny it). Perhaps it has always been laziness that has driven me to getting into relationships, because I'm just too damned lazy to keep going out and meeting new women.
With that in mind, I thought I'd be a bit proactive in my laziness. And what is the mecca for laziness? Why, the internet, of course. I don't even have to leave my house to meet women. Yes, ladies, the J-Man is now available for your dating pleasures through Match.com. (Yeah, I know J-Date would have been funnier on several different levels, but I'm not trying to discriminate against the goyim)
So, having seen a friend of mine use it before, I decided to make up a fancy profile (I think after writing a blog for a year and a half about my life, I can take a few moments to write two paragraphs), throw up a few classic pics of me in action, and see what happens. Now, you're probably all sitting there thinking to yourselves...J-Man, I think you could very easily find yourself a girl or two to go out with on your own, you don't need to be a loser and post on the internet.
Why, thanks. Yes, you're probably right. (Did I just have a conversation with myself?) But where is the fun of that? Plus, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with this whole internet dating thing anyway, so I'm imagining there's gonna be some pretty funny stories to come out of this. I mean, the usual combination of me on my computer with pictures of women on the screen usually ends in masturbation, so we can only go up from here.
And these women wasted no time moving to action. I just got approved and had my profile end up online on Friday and 8 girls have already written or "winked" at me (Yeah, I know...the whole winking thing seems a bit weird) and a couple of them are actually pretty good looking. I'm more or less clueless with what to do next, but I guess determining that they're not 60 year old men would be a step in the right direction...then we'll see what happens.
Get ready my friends, this blog could start to get even more entertaining, because J-Man: Internet Gigolo is ready for action.