Sunday, May 22, 2011


So, apparently the world was supposed to end or something yesterday. At least that's what I saw on the internet and throughout people's facebook statuses, etc. And that got me to thinking...who makes these predictions? And what makes their prediction worthy of growing to the point where millions of people were talking about it? Did they pick Animal Kingdom to win the Kentucky Derby last week, and as a follow up to their predicting masterfulness, decide that yesterday was the end of the world? The streak apparently ended at one there.

In any case, I felt that since the world didn't end yesterday, I would let you know when the world is actually going to end. I know, I know. How do I know? Well, that's very simple. You see, I once predicted the Kentucky Derby winner three years in a row, and I also predicted that the world was not going to end yesterday. So, since I'm on a bit of a streak, I figured I'd go with it. To add some credibility to it, I also happen to watch a lot of Nat Geo and History Channel, and seem to pick up on patterns pretty easily. And what's the world but a bunch of complex patterns being repeated, over and over again.

So, without further ado (and sorry, this is not a funny post), I will inform you that the world is going to end:

Slowly over the course of the next 19 months.

You see, it's foolish to believe that anything catasclysmic will occur that will wipe out the Earth at one set time short of a meteor of substantial size hitting the planet. Instead, the Earth will slowly adjust to the alteration of the gravitational pull of the Universe aligning over the next 19 months with a series of earthquakes, volcanoes, superstorms, and other natural disasters until the world as we know has been altered and the climate system and axis of the planet is changed.

Based on what we've been seeing over the past year or so, it would seem that Japan, Iceland, and the Caribbean will likely be the ones first affected by the shift, with all adjacent areas affected by the resulting tsunamis, ash clouds, and superstorms created by all the molten ash and heat sent into the atmosphere.

My recommendation would be to look to the past in order to realize where is a safe place for refuge. And where did there appear to be great civilizations in the past that are mysteriously vacant and the land seems inhospitable? Nazca in Peru, Egypt and the surrounding desert area, and of course, the predictors of the next alignment, the Mayan areas of Mexico.

My reasoning is if there has been any realignment in the past, it would have wiped out large areas or buried them under the sea. These areas have not had this occur, instead, the land just become inhospitable, turning to desert or extreme jungle. When the shift occurs, assuming it's a cycle and not a lineal adjustment, then we can assume (or hope) that these places will return to being fertile areas under the new climate, and will also be safe from flooding since they have remained above sea level.

So, there's my prediction. As I have mentioned earlier, I did predict that the world would not end yesterday and I also once predicted the Kentucky Derby winner three years in a row. I also predict that I am going to get out of bed now and brush my teeth to begin my day. So, I'm on a roll. Sorry, Earth, 17 months is it. Start moving, people.


Jeff said...

You have some interesting, if unoriginal ideas. Perhaps you're right, and the world will succumb slowly over the course of the next nine months, but more than likely you're wrong. Then again, if I'm right I just join the ranks of many rightly-decided non-believers and if you're right, there will be no one left to care.

As for your great civilizations: they Egyptians succumbed to Greek influence, the Mayans to Spanish and the Incans also to Spanish. The lands that they lived on are certainly inhabitable, save maybe Macchu Picchu. Then again, even Macchu Picchu is inhabitable, it's simply remote.

My prediction is that the world still has a long life ahead of it. We are still coming out of our last ice age and for that reason it's hard to say what natural disasters are natural, patternistic disasters and which have been spurred on by pollution adn destruction and the phenomenon of "global warming".

Incidentally, I don't think it's foolish at all to believe that one cataclysmic event could and would wipe out the Earth. This is an ephemeral existence connected to something unimaginably bigger. Scientists recently discovered a star being swallowed by a black hole and releasing waves of energy that lasted for several days (remember that star at the centre of our galaxy?). More likely still is the possibility of blowing ourselves up. We have nuclear arms enough to destroy the world more than three times over. The leaders of the Non-Proliferation Treaty are the ones who carry the most arms and we still don't know what the effects of a full-scale nuclear attack would be. Hopefully, we never will.

Finally, know that I am not intentionally challenging you to start an argument but rather presenting my views in opposition to yours in hopes of having a conversation... before the end of the world. said...

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