Thursday, December 11, 2008

Crazy Bitch

As I mentioned a couple posts ago, this past weekend I took Danielle to go see the Wizard of Oz, which was showing at the Warner Theater. I also bought my older brother and his wife tickets and we all got together and had dinner at Tenpenh in DC beforehand.

Overall, the food was great and the performance was OK. The show was obviously tailoring to a broad audience, and having just gotten back from Disney World, I was kind of sick of the child-friendly performances, but I can't complain. There were a few new things that differed from the movie I remembered, including the poppies (the flowers that make Dorothy fall asleep) having their own dance number, and the Wicked Witch referring to her servant guards as winkies. This was humorous to me as that was the term we used instead of "penis" back when I was a kid...and they were wearing round purple helmets. he he. I know, I'm basically twelve.

In any case, that was probably the "dirtiest" moment of the evening up til that point, so I was having some good old fashioned wholesome fun.

And then Danielle and I left the company of my brother and his wife to continue our evening at Rocket Bar for my friend's birthday. And that's when the G-rated evening ended and the R-rated moment occurred.

If you've never been to Rocket Bar, it's a relatively large, though somewhat hidden sports bar in Gallery Place, across the street from Verizon Center. It's a good place to get drinks, play shuffleboard, play pool, and watch random chicks rub themselves while singing a song that's playing on the jukebox. Wait...what!!???

Yep, so we've been there for about an hour before I go to grab a second (or fourth...who's counting) round of drinks. As I'm making my way to the bar, the last song ends and "Crazy Bitch" by Buckcherry starts playing. I'm a big fan of this particular song...and apparently so is this chick at the end of the bar.

As I'm waiting for the bartender I glance over to see this girl kneeling on the bar stool next to a guy (her boyfriend/man of the evening?) gyrating up and down while singing along and rubbing all over her stomach and chest like a stripper. Mind you, she's got all her clothes on, but she has a tight shirt and big boobs, so not much is left to the imagination. What makes this such a priceless moment is the fact that she is singing along to this song. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, here's an excerpt of the most often repeated lines:

Hey, you're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good, I'm on top of it.
When I dream, I'm doing you all night.
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on.

It always amazes me how women love songs that denegrate women, and will sing along to them as well. I remember when I was in college, playing DJ at my fraternity parties, and one of the songs that would get the biggest reaction of cheers from the women was "Gimme that Nut" by Easy-E. I swear to god. Women would be screaming like it was freakin "Dancing Queen" or some shit, all the while singing along to such memorable lines as:

Now my dick's on hard ya know what I'm thinkin'
Took tha panties off and the pussy wasn't stinkin'


Okay back back to the fuckin' basics
You got yours and mine ya want tah taste it
Open wide oh no don't 'cha waste it
Oh shit all over ya face kid

I'm pretty sure if that song had come on, this girl at the end of the bar would have been all over it and likely would have taken her top off and swung it 'round her head (like a helicopter) as well. It didn't, and I grabbed my drinks and left, happy to have seen not one, but two shows this particular evening.

One starring a wicked witch, and one starring a crazy bitch. But they both probably ended with some happy winkies.

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