Monday, March 10, 2008

Bowling Prowess...the Backlash

So, as you've all had the opportunity to read, I was feeling really good about my "skillz" after throwing up a 5 strike and 210 game performance. So good, that I went the extra mile and picked up some shnazzy new bowling shoes (Matt got some too) for using at my bowling league.

My bowling league is down in Falls Church (yeah, I don't know why either) and competes every Thursday night. It's more or less the same bunch of us that bowl on Mondays, so everyone was eager to see how I would follow up my 210 game performance. Oh, and here's how I did it.

I bowled a 122. Yes, a 122. It's not terrible, but what I have left out of this portion of the blog is the fact that in this league you are competing against the person bowling in the same order as you. I'm feeling pretty good during warm-ups as I see he has a 54 handicap compared to my 75, so I've already got a 21 pin lead on him. And who is this "he" you might be asking...he's a red-headed stone-faced killer named Toby...but after the first game, I gave him his real name...Drago.

You see Drago throws the ball with some spin, much like the pros. And what Drago also does is kill Apollo in Rocky IV. And playing the role of Apollo was none other than your favorite, overconfident jewish bowler here. It wasn't looking all that brutal in the early going, I'm dancing around, "Coming to America" is playing and I'm still sitting about 10 pins above him in the fifth, thanks to our handicaps...and then the Russian manager in the corner gives him the signal and the pummelling begins. The remainder of the game only required him to throw the ball 7 times (yeah, you do the math) and he's just laid down a 244 on me. With his handicap, that's 298. Yeah, and I just bowled a 197.

So I regroup. I drive around in my expensive car, jamming out to "No Easy Way Out" and ponder about the good times I had bowling, when I threw 5 strikes in a row and scored 210. But that all came crashing down at the hands of Drago. It's time for some payback.

After a couple quick training montage videos, I'm back and ready to show this a-hole what bowling is all about.

Out I come with a spare, and another, and another. A literal barrage of punches. Unfortunately, old Drago is still throwing those god damned strikes...four more to be precise. And then it happens. 4th frame...I bowl a strike. And he bowls a 9. Yes, a 9. HE'S NOT A MACHINE. HE'S A MAN.

Sadly, this is where the whole Rocky reference ends, as does all of my fun. He proceeds to throw a spare, followed by several more strikes. I continue to hold my own, ending at 187. With my handicap, that actually gave me the third best finish of anyone playing on our lane. Unfornunately the second best was none other than Drago, once again eclipsing 200 and pummeling me with a 241 game.

Our team as a whole suffered much the same fate, as we ended the game, losing 1-14, and have now dropped to dead last in the league with an 0-3 start and only 14 points scored TOTAL.
This is why the sequels are never quite as good as the original.

Oh, and did I fail to mention that during all of this I'm wearing a bright orange shirt with the word "stupid" and an arrow pointing up on it...courtesy of being the lowest (2nd lowest really, but the lowest, Shayna, was not there this week) scorer including handicap on our team the previous week. And yes, our team name and all our other shirts say "I'm With Stupid."

No comments: