As some of you may already be aware, I am heading out of town on Friday en route to Miami and ultimately a weekend cruise to the Bahamas. This will be my second cruise, and I am somewhat excited to see how this cruise compares to my last one, which was really fun. In anticipation of this trip, I thought I would bring back another of my old favorites, The Top 10 List. So, I hope you all enjoy:
The Top 10 Things You Shouldn't Do On A Cruise
10. Repeatedly ask people where the poop deck is
9. Smuggle weed you bought on the island back onto the boat inside your own poop deck
8. Attempt to pick up women by offering to let them join the boating equivalent of the Mile High Club
7. Run around in a red rugby shirt and floppy white hat, yelling "SKIPPER!!"
6. Challenge old women to card games and then flip the table in disgust after they beat you
5. Inform complete strangers that your plans at the next island are to "plunder."
4. Grow an afro and mustache, wear a white suit and offer love advice to anyone that will listen
3. Naked wrestle a fat foreign guy and then chase him around the boat
2. Jump in the hot tub...no joke needed. No, I'm serious, don't jump in that hot tub. Have you seen the other people on this boat with you???
1. Grab small children and their mothers and throw them off the boat, proclaiming, "Women and children first!"
Bon Voyage, bitches. I'll post some stories and pics when I return.