When Sports Go Wild

No wonder WWF (it's still WWF to me) hasn't been as popular as it was back when I was in college. Here's a few plots that would have seemed perfect for WWF programming:

• One member of a tag team feels his partner isn't pulling his own weight. He begins to doubt their ability to win and blames the losing on his partner. Week after week, they make their rants to the cameras, eventually leading to one calling his partner a fag and ultimately dismantling the tag team forever.
• Several high profile players are continuously destroying their competition, garnering belt after belt on their way to a sure stop in the WWF Hall of Fame. But wait, JR finds some B-12 shots in their lockers? When they are approached by Vince McMahon, they ademantly deny their use of any illegal substances and continue wrestling and winning championships...only to fail a random drug test right as their storied career is coming to an end?
• Two female wrestlers begin to have a very close relationship. In a backstage scene, two other female wrestlers nearly pee their pants waiting to use the bathroom. When the first two wrestlers leave the bathroom together after some obvious hanky panky (can't you see King Lawler having a field day with this one), a brawl ensues.
• Two wrestlers are in the midst of a match and tumble to the outside. A few fans get over zealous and spill a drink over the heel (that's wrestling lingo for the bad guy). He pounces on the fan, driving management to force him to sit out for several months as punishment. Upon his return, he shows no remorse and swears he will remain an uncontrollable animal.
• The tag team troubled wrestler from the first plot joins up with the likes of a real fan favorite. They start out winning, but the same problems resurface and ultimately drive the two apart...perhaps to a one-on-one no holds barred competition.
• Vince McMahon is certain the drop in ratings is due to the sloppy and hip-hop look of his wrestlers and feels that all wrestlers need to wear shirts and ties during all pre- and post-match interviews. The black wrestlers feel this is a racially motivated move, and a giant racial war breaks out throughout the entire WWF.

These would all be great WWF plots. Unfortunately, the "real" sports already took them all. I guess wrestling is gonna have to resort to fair competition and good sportsmanship now, so we have something different to watch.